This Is.About.Broken.Hearts...This.Is.About.Me....

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xtableforonex

GET IT ADDED

last night went to opium to meet richard, elliot and ewan.
had no fags. got loads off elliot.
had little money. got all my drinks bought for me.
haha hell yeah.
ehh elliot left quite early and me, richard and ewan proceeded to get pretty drunk.
richard was wasted haha.
lots of kissing with richard obviously :)
umm end of the night we went downstairs and saw gemma etc.
then me richard and ewan went to 24hour tesco.
i missed my bus so cause im so poor ewan gave me £5 to put towards my taxi which i thought was lovely.
i now have £7 left.
and i NEED to go to glasgow on wednesday to see my baby BECCA and go see some HARDCORE DANCING at the azriel gig.
will have to ask daddy...again. meep.
going to richard's later to watch a movie then we're going to punk ass at opium.
obviously going to be a sober night for me :(
ooh well.
should be fun.
my mums well not going to let me out tonight..but..ha.
job centre tomorrow fo sho!
x

so last night was dead good apart from most of the mission.
headed up town at 5ish and met alan, jett and mandy. then gary came to meet us.
then we headed to frankensteins and met up with everyone for craigs birthday.
amazing seeing craig again.
and matt!
and it was lovely to finally meet vernie who came all the way from the states.
got a drink bought for me then after that me and gary went to subway to get food.
then alan and mandy left to go to the cinema.
after subway me and gary headed back and proceeded to drink more with everyone and had lots of banter etc.
then about..hmm...7/8ish we decided to all go get a carry out and sit in the meadows.
i already had half a litre of peach schnapps on me so i went and got some lemonade and a cheeky cheeky bottle of red square.
meadows was amazing fun. suuuch a laugh.
me, ailsa, gary, jonny and campbell decided to play spin the bottle and obviously by the end of that everyone had pulled each other. so funny.
had a 3 way pull with ailsa and vernie.
and randomly me and craig pulled haha.
me and matt kissed "passionately" hahahaha.
then craig and everyone left to go back to musslebrough (sp?)
so it was just me, ailsa, gary, jonny and campbell left.
we sat for ages bantering about mostly sex.
then jonny was sick and me and ailsa headed to the tavern to meet kate, kayleigh, shoe and becca.
then we headed to the studios where we met back up with campbell and gary...jonny went home obv.
me and gary pulled some.
then bradley came and i sat talking to him a lot of the night.
but then gary was all like dead emo and stuff so i took him off to talk to him.
and im dead worried about him.
and basically we're not getting back together and i dont think he likes me.
so i was crying my eyes out. and he was like almost crying.
and then people cheered me up.
kissed bradley again. (did no bad for myself last night eh! 7 pulls..yas!)
then after mission i went to talk to gary but he wouldnt tell me what was wrong with him.
so that made me more upset cause i hate him shutting me out.
becca and bradley got bus home.
and i had to wait till 4:20 til my bus came but these 3 random ned guys came and sat with me and they were totally quality and so funny. well loved me.
got home made pasta. went to bed at almost 6am and i couldnt sleep..my mind was on overdrive and i kept thinking too much. so i read for a bit then just tried to get to sleep.
obviously got to sleep eventually.
woke up at about 11ish this morning with a text from richard inviting me to opium tonight.
might go for a wee bit if i can get some extra cash.
becca moves to glasgow today and im trying not to be sad.
IM SEEING HER ON WEDNESDAY so thats why im not sad. cant wait.

so aye i think i might just have to give up on gary.
i like him sooooooooooooooo much and care about him millions.
but we're not going anywhere and that hurts more.
him shutting me out hurts me so much but he doesnt realise.
well actually he might cause he saw how upset i was.
and i hate him seeing me upset.
but sometimes i cant help it and i dont know why.
im worried about him but i cant force him to tell me how he's feeling.
cause he just wont and it hurts too much.

GOSH.

but a huge thanks to everyone last night for cheering me up.

love you x

omgz going up town and meeting alan and jett
then going to the meadows for craigs birthday
i dont even have a card let alone a present for the poor boy
im such a shit friend
but im also such a poor friend
i do have a £15 HMV voucher that i got for my birthday..i could give him that
but then one day i might want it
even though i rarely buy cd's
ONE DAY.
then tonight going to the mission
doubt i'll be coming home before that..stay out and get more pissed aye
it better no rain today
cause if my hair gets ruined i'll be raging.
i should really be heading up town now
but i still have to finish getting ready
and get some alcohol together.
mmmmm alcohol.
i really need food too but my house is so shit for food right now. god damn.

i said the funniest thing last night and i laughed for ages
well me and hazel laughed like this "skjfgnoerighosegnsrogn"
cause i said to Richard
"YOUREGETTINGPUNCHEDINTHEFACENEXTTIMEISEEYOU.COM"

jalngledhgoweinfowrnvorengoihre

i love hazel.

i just got a text from a very drunk alan saying how much he loves me
i love it when alan gets drunk
he always texts me and says how much he loves me
i love alan. ♥

p.s I MISS HAZEL LIKE LOOOOADDDSSSS

ok i have no idea whats going on with me and gary and its driving me mad
so people really need to stop asking me whats going on with us cause I HAVE NO CLUE
god damn. i hate not knowing.

last night was actually mega fun
was totally fuuuucked and danced to loads of gid songs.
kissed bradley obviously
and then gary...weird aye. but he kissed me FIRST

i hate boys.
(apart from the really hot ones obv)

aw whit the gardener is here and im prancing about in a tshirt and pants
i neeed to run upstairs and get dressed

on a brighter note..the book im reading just now is so good and i cant put it down

and tonight im going to citrus and im going to get dressed up and wasted...obv.
and becca's going
and hopefully alan
so it goes unsaid that it should be a braw night ♥

hefty bored the night likes
so i went to pee
and i saw how long my hair is getting
and i was like yass
and then i wondered how long the longest hair in the world is
well its 18ft 5.54 inches
OOFT
aye i pure searched on google OBV
i seen a picture of it..pure minging by the way

NOTETOSELF:DONTEVERGROWHAIRTHATLONG

im getting my hair done on friday YASS
pure needs done so badly
more blacked and the blonde bits more blonded
and its getting cut
dunno how im getting it
maybe just a wee trim/tidy up
pure more layers n that aye
and my fringe HEFTY needs cut

right now banter on msn sucks..but i just received an email saying that someone has either left me a comment or messaged me on myspace..PLEASE BE A HOT BOY
and i just got a text from bradley
PURE STRANGER BY THE WAY

gonna have to get drunk tomorrow like

i feel like starting an argument with someone
im in a right bitchy mood

HECK YES.

highlights...

-rain as soon as we get there-only warm hoody=SOAKED

-the english CUNTS in the GAZEEBO

-the FAKE welsh guy that i kissed

-DAN

-BOLLUCKS

-seeing louise and carleen

-seeing gary and his mates

-seeing GEMMA and dan and sam

-dancing with dan

-sam having to go to the first aid tent thing

-me and laura dancing outside the aftershock tent with everyone

-the hot guy that worked on site rolling a joint beside me and talking shit to me

-hothothot DAN coming over to talk to me

-me falling in LOVE with hothothot DAN

-walking for hours with louise and carleen totally wasted looking at all the tents and talking to randoms

-OMG THAT TENT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING IGLOO *KICKS IT*

-THATS NOT A TENT..THATS A FUCKING BEAST....*KICKS IT*

-spaghetti hoops

-becca using lemonade to brush her teeth with

-OH OH OH OHHHH

-THE KILLERS

-pete doherty being fucked but so beautiful

-wanting to punch all of SENSES FAIL in the face for being so shit live AGAIN

-the amount of scene kids there

-my FLORAL PRINT sunglasses

-attacking english people with our MASSIVE SCOTTISH FLAG

-donuts for breakfast

-gemma needing a BIG DIRTY SHITE

-the WALTZERS x 5 MILLION TIMES

-the CRAZY upside down scary scary scary ride that laura made me go on when we were fucked and i thought i might puke..but it was amazing

-BEING CONSTANTLY WASTED

-morning beers

-APPLE COKE

-JAGERKICK ♥

-THEEEEE PLAYPEN

-waking up on friday morning after sleeping by myself in THEEE PLAYPEN and thinking i was dead because i was so cold

-wasting 2 hours travelling down to leeds by stopping off in every supermarket in england trying to find a tent

-ARGOS

-spending 45mins trying to find the car in the car park at leeds

-getting chatted up by a 45 year old dad who was with his 19 year old son

-seeing about 500000 VOTE FOR PEDRO tshirts and shouting random napoleon quotes at them as they walked by

-singing MCFLY with people camped around us

-the riots on the last night...SAVE THE TREE

ok theres probably so much more
was an AWESOME weekend obviously ♥

im so bored.

WHYYYY are boys soooo confusing
i would quite like to get inside there heads
alll i want is to know whats going on but its sooooo hard to talk to him
GAY.

so last night i thought i'd be hardcore and go out even though i still felt shite
well i basically should have just stayed at home
picked up becca and went to meet the girlies in the tron-kate, kayleigh and fee(who ive not seen in so long so that was nice :))
got a double peach schnapps and lemonade..but it made me feel more shit.
i was sitting actually freezing in the tron when i do believe it was roasting
so then i was on the water
then miles and eddie came down after kayleigh and fee had left sat in there bantering for ages
totally well missed the fireworks lol
then we left and kate got some food/puke/shit on a plate hahahha :P
then we headed to opium..becca and eddie got id'd so they went away somewhere else so me, kate and miles went in...was roasting and packed...wandered upstairs to see who was around..seen jamie and liam...then went back downstairs and saw lee...but i felt sooo crap so i left and walked up to get a taxi.
every step i took i swear to god i could feel my brain pound off my skull and i actually fely like i was going to pass out..was not a nice feeling.
and when i got to like siglo this foreign guy who was on his own also asked me for the time so i told him..half 11 it was...then he like followed me..and he kept trying to talk to me when i was walking up that road down the side of the tron..and he kept getting closer and closer and i was thinking hmm...well not in the mood to get raped tonight...so i just pure ignored him and walked faster and luckily i got a taxi straight away.
and my god what an amazing taxi driver..he was a weegie so we bantered about how amazing weegies are...and then he was like what ways cheaper to your house..i was like i dunno..he's like we'll go the queensferry road way and i'll knock £2 off the fare..so im like yasss..then he's like..do you smoke? i'm like aye..he's like well if you want one go ahead..him lighting up a fag himself as he says this..actually LOVE that guy!!
so aye right now im boiling hot GRR and hungry but i cant eat..and dead tired even though ive slept loads..and dead bored.
gay.
love you xo

so not going through to glasgow anymore cause i basically cant be fucked
so if anyones going to the mission tonight please let me knooowwww
xoxox

hefty going to glasgow tomorrow
WHO WANTS TO HANG OOT?

that futurehead cover of that kate bush song is sheer stuck in my heed

OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH

yesterday ended up going out for a meal with my brother and my mummy
half a bottle of wine later i was feeling good
go back to my brothers flat to look at his pictures from prague..well funny
lift to beccas and we go buy a bottle of "taboo" and lemonade..well tasty and got pretty drunk
then kate came picked us up and i met shoe finally..HES NORMAL wow
then we walked up to the tron for a drink and met kris and his pals again in there..stayed there for a drink (double OBV) then off to citrus. was quite a laugh..seen loads of people. felt down for a bit of it but i cheered up at the end. was actually reeking!!
planned on getting the nightbus home..well i did actually get on the N26..just so happens i was with Gary and we went to tesco and he bought soooo much food and a dvd and i stayed at his. he bought me food..yass. got back to his..ate them lay down to watch the dvd..looked well good..Secret Windom..johnny depp..yummmm...but yeah got like 1/4 into it and i fell asleep..gutted..it was like 5:15am though.
woke up at like 8am and it was like 100degrees in his room but then i fell back asleep till like half12ish..and i thought since im awake and cant sleep its not fair if gary can so i woke him up and annoyed him haha.
got home about half3 this afternoon..so hungry but theres NO food here
oh mike just came through for a wee banter..got my hawthorne heights ticket yay
and my mum is cooking my tea double yay
was thinking about going to see new years resolution play tonight in glasgow so i could see matt but nobody to go with and cant be fucked
boring friday night in for me...cause im NOT going to the beach party with my mum!
hahahahahaha i just did a big burp and i cant stop laughing hahashfiosjhtfgoehgoe

xo

mon someone take me out

FUCK SAKE
i actually so wish i was moving out to go to college or something this year
me and my mum just cannot get on whatsoever
right now we're not even talking to each other
apart from a minute ago when she came in to just shout at me about everything
cause OBVIOUSLY its my fault that my dads a dick
yeah i do understand that i dont have a job but its not like im not fucking doing anything about it
ive just made up my cv and got application forms and whatnot
i fucking want a job
but she doesnt have a clue what im doing because we're not talking
and i refuse to talk to her because anything we say to each other ends up in a huge fucking argument and im soooo sick and tired of them
im so fucking raging right now
she actually wonders why im hardly ever home
HMMMMM I WONDER
SAKE!
iaojfopwierhgorwengperghe;rngpergjp

hefty forgot i was meant to go see rise with the fallen tonight at ivory blacks
actually well gutted
just as well i have no money
definitely going to see them when they play in september with azriel etc
SORRY GAV BY THE WAY
xoxoxoxoxox

i stayed at gary's last night
WEIRD
aye
but im over it
haha
my mum is raging and not talking to me..kinda like it like that
was actually reeking last night
got an application form from the tron last night
"whats your favourite dinosaur?"???????
eh whit
i dunno!!!!!!!
eh aye..um...i need sleep
xo